Lost
by Gothic Rogue
Summary: They all looked at me as if to say 'I'm sorry'. What did they have to feel sorry for? They didn't kill her, she took care of that on her own. I really don't know how to feel. All I know is the empitiness inside of me.


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song in this story.   
  
This is based on the song 'Lost' by Sarah McLachlan. My first real song fic. I came up with this story while I was listening to my stereo. It may be kinda confusing, I don't really say who is talking, but I'll let you guess on that, I'll tell you who was on my mind at the end.  
  
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LOST  
  
By the shadows of the night I go  
I move away from the crowded room  
That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret  
They don't know how to feel, they don't know what is lost  
  
I couldn't stand to be there any longer, it was all so strange. They were all crying, but for what? They didn't know her, no one really did. All their sorrow was in vain, because they were crying for the ghost of the person that they could never know.  
  
They all claimed that they were her friends, but that can't be, because she never let them in. She had let me in though, I knew who she really was. A person like her can never be replaced. She had such a brilliance that she hide inside away from everyone, but she was always so sad on the outside. Why?  
  
Lost in the darkness of a land  
Where all the hope that's offered is  
Memories of being taken by the hand  
And we are led into the sun  
But I don't have a hold on what is real  
Though we can only try  
What is there to give or to belive  
  
They had led her in with the belief that she could control her curse. She had called it 'her last chance at normalicy'. I wanted so much for that to be true, for her to have happiness in her life for once. When it was said that she could never have that chance, that's when she finally gave up.   
  
She wanted so much to be like those around her, living their lives, being loved. Nothing seemed to get through to her. I told her that it didn't matter, that no matter what she was as normal as normal could get. That all phased through her though and the darkness in her heart overtook her.  
  
I want it all to go away   
Sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell   
I feel there's nothing left to fight for  
No reason for a cause  
And I can't hear your vioce, and I can't feel you near  
  
They all looked at me as if to say 'I'm sorry'. What did they have to be sorry for? They didn't Kill her, she took care of that on her own. I really don't know how to feel, all I know is the hollowness that's inside me. When they told me she was gone, all I could do was cry. I knew one day she might do it, but something inside of me made me belive that she would be ok.   
  
I wish I could have been there for her, but I doubt she would have opened up. She used to come to me and tell me what was on her mind, but that went too when she gave up. She was lost to everyone, including me.   
  
I'll never hear her voice again, and I'll never see her beautiful face. The mere thought of this makes angry with her. Didn't she think of anyone who would miss her when she was gone, that those who truely loved her would be so empty without her? Or was the pain so much she couldn't really see that point? When that comes to mind, I get angry with myself for not showing her how I truely felt. Maybe then she would have had a reason to go on.  
  
Lost in the darkness of a land  
Where all the hope that's offered is  
Memories of being taken by the hand  
And we are led into the sun  
But I don't have a hold on what is real  
Though we can only try  
What is there to give or to believe  
  
When they had found her in her room all alone, the life gone from her body, they were shocked. Even before she took her life, she had sent out many cries for help. They never heard them though, they all fell upon deaf ears. Even when she stopped eating and began to loose weight, they didn't notice. All the signs where there, no one tried to help.  
  
To watch someone you love slowly fade away into nothing is more than one can bare. The eyes that had once been so bright and green, grew duller and more lifeless as the days rolled by. School she would walk through the hallways slumped over like a zombie, she was dead even before she picked up the knife. All the years of rejection, abuse, and heartache had killed her heart a long time ago. The joy that she had shown me once before was lost forever by her deppression.   
  
Were the smiles and the laughs that she had given me real, or was it just a mask to cover her pain? Whenever I would ask her what was wrong, she would always give a smile and simply say that all was well. She made it so easy to belive, she had a way of doing that.   
  
I wanted a change, knowing all I could do was try  
I was looking for someone......  
  
I wish there was more I could have done for her. If I could, I would turn back time and make her see how I truely felt. I'll always love her, I hope she knows that.   
  
Nothing in my life will ever be complete now that she is gone, I will carry this emptiness inside me forever. All I have left of her are the memories that she left me, I'll treasure those always.   
  
I'm so sorry Rogue.  
  
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So, can you guess who is speaking? I wrote and intended this to be from Lance's prospective, but like I said before it could be anyone you can imagine, that's why I didn't say his name. I really hope ya'll liked this, and I hope it didn't make you too sad. It is a true insight to my mind, and a sadness I can only put down into words. 


End file.
